So Friday was uneventful.
But Saturday there was great success!
My Dad came to pick me and my brother up! After eating at Denny’s, he took us to my Aunt’s house where he watched the World Cup match while my brother played video games and I did whatever it is that I do. Then he took us to go and see the Karate Kid. It was a really good movie! And every time I saw the girl main character, I got reminded of something really pleasant!
And then after that, he took me and my brother over to my Aunt’s pool where we swam with my cousin and his girlfriend and her little brother. It was a fun time, and the only thing that went wrong was that I neglected to bring a solid pair of dry extra clothes! Plooie. I was so exhausted after that that I almost fell asleep as soon as I got home! ‘Twas a good day!
Today, Sunday (well technically yesterday but I don’t care!) was spent typically. I went to church, got a haircut, and came home. I also washed Balto with my Mom, so now he doesn’t smell so stinky! Stinky dogs are apparently not welcome in the house D:
This night (morning?) has been rather eventful. I still hate the idea of “being yourself” and I think it is silly child drivel that makes no sense because it is all circular-logic when analyzed on a hypercritical level. And maybe I’ll rant on about my hatred of the concept later, but for for now just realize that I realized a lot of things from that!
Also, with the help of Megan and Jeri, I now understand what kind of girls I find to be pretty. Sure took a lot of time though, but that’s okay! It was an interesting experience!
I’m hoping to have my Friday and Saturday busy after I’m all done with this week’s summer school. I wonder if the comm app kids listened and watched the video like I said! I guess I’m going to find out!
When I think about the crush I have, and I realize how strong it is, I am kind of pleased! Not because it makes me some kind of obsessive lovesick fool, but because it reminds me of that one thing that I sometimes forget: that I’m human.
I’m a rather unemotional person. There’s no way I can get around that. And so, I’ve kind of had to use these really complicated systems of what is allowed and what isn’t to define most of my social behavior. So sometimes, I kind of feel like a robot. And it kind of hurts a little, except it doesn’t really hurt but if it could then it would. I don’t like the idea of being a total robot, but it’s necessary for the time being!
That’s beside the point: being able to feel this emotion from inside of me, that isn’t caused or even POSSIBLY caused by my altruistic morality makes me realize that yes, I can feel more then just fear! Being afraid of myself isn’t the only emotion I have: this one is too! And it reminds me that I have a heart, even if it is hidden a lot of bad baggage.
Going to wash some dishes and do some last-minute things before school starts. I’ll be leaving to the bus stop in about an hour and a half!